Although I am not from Texas and I was raised without a television, I remember coming to the conclusion as a little boy that a cowboy was the ultimate symbol of masculinity. At that time, even though I had never rode a horse or fired a gun, in my mind, the cowboy was a real man- tough, hard working, responsible, and loyal. Those were the qualities that my father worked hard to instill in me. Thankfully, there were a couple of others he added-an all consuming passion for Jesus and a genuine love for family.
However, not one time in the midst of the testosterone fueled forging of my manhood, was there an instruction to cherish Valentine’s Day. As one friend stated earlier this month, "Valentine’s Day is not for guys."
It would appear that the same is true of church. Lately, I have been greatly troubled by the lack of Godly men in the church-locally and in the global body of Christ. Men are either uninvolved or uninterested. A street interview on youtube revealed that a majority of men would rather attend a football game instead of go to church. Many men feel that church is a place for women and children, but not for guys.
In New Testament scripture, it is very clear that God intends for men to be the spiritual leaders at home and in the church. Therefore, when men abandon this calling, the home and the church is threatened by a crisis of vacancy. We must figure out what is wrong before the strength and stability that God desires is lost forever.
There is a great line in the movie "Troy" that I think is the ultimate challenge to all dudes. The stage is set as the general rally’s the troops heading in to battle. He says to them "Honor God, Love Your Woman, Defend Your Country."
I'm a real man- I eat meat, watch UFC, go hunting, play sports, and love football. However, according to the Bible, how I honor God, love my wife, and fight for what is important are my masculine responsibilities. I don’t care how old you are, if you are a man, listen up:
- Honor God- It's time for men to pray. It's time for men to be spiritual leaders at home. This means that you are the one making sure that the family makes it to church each week. Quit expecting your wife to be the only one that cares or makes an effort. Pay your tithes. Tell your buddies about Jesus. Serve in some capacity at church and get involved. Believe in the Bible and live like a Christian man is supposed to live. There is nothing wrong with being more passionate about Jesus than you are about fly fishing, golfing, working out, or Nascar.
- Love Your Wife- Do you think that mistreating your wife shows how manly you are? There is nothing manly about a guy that curses or beats his wife. I know one guy that tries to look macho by constantly putting his wife down and making her look bad. He's not macho, he's a disrespectful idiot. Furthermore, you are not loving your wife if you are such a wimp that she's calling all the shots, making all the decisions, and leading you around by a ring in your nose. Lots of guys have messed up views of sexuality. You are not a man if you resort to looking at porn or try to have sex with lots of women because any guy can do that. How manly you are is observed by how you can continue pleasing your wife and keep her satisfied the rest of her life.
- Fight for what is important- Get a job. It's a disgrace to cowboys everywhere that you sit at home all day playing video games while your girl works to pay your bills. Spend time with your kids and show them affection. How you interact with your kids is going to shape how they interact with God and with other males in the future. Grow up. Why is Peter Pan your role model? Do you really think that being a boy forever is an attractive proposition? Pay your bills. Avoiding bill collectors the way a child avoids the boogie monster is not the most flattering to your masculinity. Dress nice. ZZ Top says it best- "everybody's crazy bout a sharp dressed man." Get an education. Do you really want to make minimum wage the rest of your life?
I recognize that men are not the only ones to blame. The church must accept some responsibility for the huge void in the man department. Recently, I asked our staff at HighPoint for some insight as to why men under 40 are not more involved. We want to change some things in order to reach the men of our community. I thought their insight was pretty good.
- There is a lack of Godly role models and spiritual father figures- the Apostle Paul recognizes this in I Corinthians 4:15 when he says "For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers."(NKJV)
- Many ministries of the church are designed to be emotionally driven, touchy feely, and conversation intensive. This is perfect for the feminine makeup but most dudes are not comfortable with this.
- An outlet is not provided for men to utilize their skills and abilities.
- Men are busy with work, family, hobbies, etc.
